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Smile at these Kowboy Tales and Stories
"Ancient Chinese Proverbs"
(nothing to do with cowboys, but a good
chuckle)
Passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly.
Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk thru airport turn stile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man with one chop stick go hungry.
Man who scratches ass should not bite finger nails.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk.
Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth.
War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.
Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.
Man who farts in church sits in own pew.
Crowded elevator smells different to midget.
"Ride 'em Cowboy!"
Two cowboys are talking over a beer, discussing various sex positions. The
first cowboy says his favorite position is the "rodeo". The other cowboy asks
what the position is, and how to do it ? The first cowboy says, "You tell your
wife to get on the bed on all fours and then do it doggy style. Once things start to get
on the way and she's really enjoying it, lean forward, take a good grip of her hips and
whisper in her ear "Your sister likes this position too." Then try to hang on
for 8 seconds.
"A Real Cowboy"
An old cowboy, dressed in a cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs and
chaps went to a bar, sat down, and ordered a drink. As he was sipping his
whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. After she ordered her drink she turned to the
cowboy and asked him, "Are you a real cowboy?" To which he replied, "Well,
I've spent my whole life on the ranch herding cows, breaking horses, and mending
fences.... so I reckon I am." After a short while, he asked her what she was. She
replied, "I've never been on a ranch so I'm not a cowboy, but I am a lesbian. I spend
my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think of women.
When I eat, shower, and watch TV; everything seems to make me think of a women." A
short while later she left, and the cowboy ordered another drink. A couple sat down next
to him and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?" To which he replied, "I always
thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian."
"Another Lucky Cowboy"
A cowboy had been caught by some Indians and was about to be executed when
they asked him for any last request.
So he walked over to his horse and whispered something in its ear. The horse took off
madly over the hills and then came right back with a beautiful naked blonde on its back.
The cowboy took the blonde to a teepee and had sex.
Then he came back out and requested another talk with his horse. The Indians, amazed,
agreed again. So the cowboy walked over to the horse and whispered in his ear again. The
horse took off and then came back with a beautiful naked redhead. He takes her into
another teepee and has sex with her.
He comes out and once more asked to talk to his horse.
The Indians once more agreed. So he walked over to the horse and whispered something else
into its ear. The horse took off and then came right back with a beautiful naked brunette
on its back. The cowboy took the brunette to a teepee and had sex.
Then he came back out and requested another talk with his horse. The Indians, totally
amazed by this point, agreed again.
So the cowboy walks over to the horse and says, "I'm only going to do this once more,
now read my lips, "posse"!
"Tough Cowboys"
Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the
bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of their tall tales begins. The first cowboy
(probably Dave) says, "I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the
other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the
ground, by the horns, with my bare hands." The second cowboy (Tom) can't stand
to be outdone. "Why that's nothing. I was walking down the trail yesterday and a
fifteen foot rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that
snake with my bare hands, bit its head off, and sucked the poison down in one gulp. And
I'm still here today." The third cowboy (definitely Brian) remained silent,
......slowly stirring the coals with his penis.
"Cowboy Honeymoon"
A cowboy and his bride ask the hotel clerk for a room, telling him they just got married
that morning.
"Congratulations!" says the clerk.
"Would you like the bridal then?" "Naw, thanks," says
the cowboy. "I'll just hold her by the ears till she gets the hang of it."
If you wish to contribute any
amusing Kowboy Jokes, Tales or Stories to this page, please send via email to: webmaster@kampfirekowboys.com
© Kampfire Kowboys, P.O. Box 876,
Batavia, Illinois 60510 (630)443-1440
For information regarding this website, contact webmaster@kampfirekowboys.com
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